Like most attorneys, I've learned a lot from judges. Not because they are always right, but from the way they work.
Judges tend to avoid shooting from the hip. That is, they listen first, gather the information they need and then make a decision.
I try to do the same in my day-to-day life, and it has saved me considerable embarrassment. For example, I try to assume that the driver who just cut me off didn't see me.
I once rode in an elevator with a guy who just realized his destination was on the main floor. I made a light comment that he strangely interpreted as ridicule, on his way out of the elevator he made a rather disturbing comment in reference to my anatomy.
I felt awful because I never meant to insult him. I now better appreciate elevator music as a substitute for random conversation.
In court cases, I try not to assume that my client is always truthful and my opponent is lying. I try to envision a scenario in which both are telling the truth as they see it.
Of course, sometimes the other party is lying, and then I try to find a way to prove it to the judge. But by first trying to envision both sides, I lessen the emotional impact of dealing with contradictions and I can think more clearly.
The point is, the other guy doesn't have to be wrong for my client to win.
Is any of this useful in a business situation? For most of us, it comes up in our daily interactions with clients, employees, suppliers, managers or anyone else.
We tend to respond to our initial perceptions. If we're greeted with a smile, we smile back.
If someone appears to be angry or confrontational, we take a defensive stance. But our perceptions are not always reliable and we tend to see things that match our pre-conceptions.
If we assume others are lazy or malicious, we will see plenty of evidence to back it up. On the other hand, if we assume people are basically honest and eager to help each other, we'll also see evidence of that.
Sometimes, our initial response can shape the interaction, that is why some customer service people are experts at defusing and working with difficult customers, while others lose the customer and everyone she shares her story with.
Of course, there are some nasty people around and people who are happy to manipulate a situation to their advantage. We can't control them, but we can control our own responses, pause, take a breath and prevent them from ruining a perfectly good attitude.
Still, sometimes we can't avoid falling for our misconceptions. If I ever find myself in the elevator with an angry judge, I think I'll just note the weather and keep quiet for the rest of the ride.
Judges tend to avoid shooting from the hip. That is, they listen first, gather the information they need and then make a decision.
I try to do the same in my day-to-day life, and it has saved me considerable embarrassment. For example, I try to assume that the driver who just cut me off didn't see me.
I once rode in an elevator with a guy who just realized his destination was on the main floor. I made a light comment that he strangely interpreted as ridicule, on his way out of the elevator he made a rather disturbing comment in reference to my anatomy.
I felt awful because I never meant to insult him. I now better appreciate elevator music as a substitute for random conversation.
In court cases, I try not to assume that my client is always truthful and my opponent is lying. I try to envision a scenario in which both are telling the truth as they see it.
Of course, sometimes the other party is lying, and then I try to find a way to prove it to the judge. But by first trying to envision both sides, I lessen the emotional impact of dealing with contradictions and I can think more clearly.
The point is, the other guy doesn't have to be wrong for my client to win.
Is any of this useful in a business situation? For most of us, it comes up in our daily interactions with clients, employees, suppliers, managers or anyone else.
We tend to respond to our initial perceptions. If we're greeted with a smile, we smile back.
If someone appears to be angry or confrontational, we take a defensive stance. But our perceptions are not always reliable and we tend to see things that match our pre-conceptions.
If we assume others are lazy or malicious, we will see plenty of evidence to back it up. On the other hand, if we assume people are basically honest and eager to help each other, we'll also see evidence of that.
Sometimes, our initial response can shape the interaction, that is why some customer service people are experts at defusing and working with difficult customers, while others lose the customer and everyone she shares her story with.
Of course, there are some nasty people around and people who are happy to manipulate a situation to their advantage. We can't control them, but we can control our own responses, pause, take a breath and prevent them from ruining a perfectly good attitude.
Still, sometimes we can't avoid falling for our misconceptions. If I ever find myself in the elevator with an angry judge, I think I'll just note the weather and keep quiet for the rest of the ride.