Managing mental health and family time during the festive season
Source: Kaiser Permanente
The holiday season is often portrayed as a time of joy, celebration, and togetherness. But for many, it also brings a mix of stress, emotional strain, and mental health challenges, especially as families navigate travel, finances, and elevated expectations.
“People often feel pressure to create a ‘perfect’ holiday experience,” said Dr. Sarah Simmons, a psychiatrist at Kaiser Permanente San Diego. “But perfection is a myth. What matters most is connection, not choreography.”
The holidays can present a challenging, emotional landscape. While festive gatherings can be uplifting, they can also highlight feelings of loneliness, grief, or anxiety. For those who have experienced loss, are estranged from family, or are managing mental health conditions, the season can be especially difficult.
“Joy and sadness can coexist,” Simmons said. “It’s important to give yourself permission to feel both.” 
One way to reduce holiday stress is through intentional planning and a clear purpose. That doesn’t mean rigid schedules or overstuffed calendars: it means setting realistic expectations and communicating openly with loved ones.
Start by asking yourself: What do I want this season to feel like? Whether the answer is peace, connection, or simplicity, naming your intention can help guide decisions and align your plans with your values.
Families and individuals alike can also benefit from creating shared calendars to avoid last-minute surprises, setting spending limits to reduce financial pressure, and building in downtime to rest and recharge.
“Don’t underestimate the power of a quiet morning walk or an afternoon unplugged from devices,” Simmons said.
Mental health professionals often see an increase in seasonal stress-related visits between November and January. Common concerns include anxiety, depression, and family conflict.
To support mental well-being, Simmons recommends setting boundaries and reminding yourself that it’s okay to say no to events or conversations that feel overwhelming; practicing gratitude through a daily habit of noting what you’re thankful for; and seeking support, whether through therapy, support groups, or trusted friends.
Many communities offer mental health resources, including clinics, telehealth services, and wellness programs through employers or local organizations. Some workplaces may also offer employee assistance programs, which can provide confidential counseling and mental health referrals. Increasingly, care providers are embracing a whole-person approach that supports mental, physical, and emotional health together. They also encourage people to start conversations about mental health anytime, anywhere, not just during times of crisis.
In addition to professional care, self-guided tools like mental health apps, online classes, and wellness coaching can offer flexible support for those navigating the season’s emotional demands. Consider creating new traditions that reflect your current needs and values. A cozy movie night, a volunteer shift at a local shelter, or a simple potluck with friends can be just as significant as more elaborate celebrations.
The holidays don’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. Sometimes, the most memorable moments are the ones that are unplanned, imperfect, compassionate, and deeply human.
Simmons reminds us that the best gift you can give yourself and others is grace: grace to feel what you feel, to do what you can, and to let go of what you can’t.